I don't want to really go into detail about my trials because they are still going and i am working on being happy. But this last week i have really felt like someone has been holding me under water and expecting me to survive. For those of you who really know me i don't handle major changes coming drastically in my life, they tend to send me into anxiety attacks. Well this happened this last week and i have not handled it well...at all! I haven't been sleeping. This last week i all but fell asleep on Eric and i's date night saturday from exhaustion. I have also looked at these changes as negative. I have complained until my face was blue, to just about anyone that would listen. I even wrote my friend on a mission complaining about things.
THIS IS ABOUT TO STOP!!! To every situation i know there is a positive! I know this! I've lived this and now its time to relearn it!
This month in primary we have really been talking about service and it wasn't today that it hit me that these lessons were for me! That if i really wanted to get out from under my personal dunking then i needed to help someone else up! My kids teach me so much in my class. more than i could even begin to explain! I love them so much! I look forward to seeing them every sunday and i look forward to more lessons they are going to teach me.
I have a wonderful husband who is very good at signing me up for stuff without talking to me. Today it was a couple of things. 1. we signed up for feeding the missionaries without knowing what to feed them. We were planning on having sandwiches for dinner. Eric made pancakes and i enjoyed the hour we got to have with the Elders and with the Sisters. As i talked to these missionaries who were my age, that put there life on hold to serve our Lord i realized i didn't need to be a missionary to do this myself. All i needed to do is look around and find someone i could help.
The other thing Eric signed me up for was cleaning the Salt Lake Temple on Friday night. I am worried about exhaustion again by friday (which just means i need to behave myself when it comes to going to bed this week) and be prepared. I am so excited for this opportunity it is not everyday you get the opportunity to serve MULTIPLE people as well as clean God's temple!
So this is my goal. I am going to go back to being my positive self! Look for the positive in every situation and LOVE MY LIFE! because i am blessed to be where i am :) I am blessed to have those around me to love and support me. My other goal is to LOOSE myself in others and not in my own trials.
Enjoy every moment that God gives you on this precious earth and you know what else
COME WHAT MAY AND LOVE IT!!!
