we are expecting!

I remember the day I found out we were expecting I felt like my heart was going to explode. 

Photo Credit: http://racheliviephotography.com/

We had been trying for so long since the miscarriage and I had all but given up. I has taking my temperature every morning, doing blood draws, and doctor visits. I had lost all hope, so I told Eric we were done, I wasn't going to go back on the pill, but I wasn't going to track anymore. I couldn't continue to get my hopes up every month. People had told me "when you stop trying that is when it will happen" but it wasn't what I wanted to hear. Well, this is me saying "when you stop trying that is when it will happen" 

April 9th 2016, I had spend most of the day in bed, we were going to be working in the temple that afternoon so I decided to get up and get ready. While getting ready I saw the box of pregnancy tests, and realized it was KINDA that time. I knew I would be taking it a day early plus I was taking it in the afternoon, so my expectations were low. When I saw "PREGNANT" on the test I fell to my knees and cried, tears of happiness tears of anxiety, tears of joy! I couldn't believe that after a year of trying, we were finally pregnant. 

The first person I told was my sister Morgan, I still had half an hour before Eric got home from work and I wanted to tell someone, at this point I was crying still and had her worried, you could hear my nephew in the background say "I am so excited!" and Morgan told him Aunt Natalie had a baby in her tummy.

 Eric got home and I had a present waiting for him, it was the willow tree figuring names "new dad" He didn't understand the significance at first, and as I choked out the words "i'm pregnant" you saw the expression change on his face, to love, admiration, and excitement. Just thinking about it has put me in tears again. We called and told my parents and his mom on our way to the temple, and all I could think was "its finally happened"

7 week Ultrasound

As the weeks progressed I was excited, but nervous. I didn't want to get my hopes up, I was nervous and stressed that I would loose this baby. I knew there was nothing I could do if that was the plan but it didn't change the fact that I didn't want this baby to leave me. We went to our first ultrasound, originally because of his work schedule Eric wasn't going to be able to join me, but a last minute change made it so we could both be there. Our little 7 week old baby was growing, and had a strong heartbeat, but i didn't relax until i was past 10 weeks.


 I was very nervous to go into the doctors appointment at 11 weeks, Eric was gone, and what if there wasn't a heartbeat. I had my friend Ream go with me, and as the doctor searched for the heartbeat she told me that I had a little wiggle worm, finding that heartbeat and hearing it for the first time was magic! I knew I loved this little one, but nothing I can say will express how much I loved hearing that heartbeat.

 Pregnancy hasn't been the easiest thing, but I know what its like to have lost it, so I have tried to love every moment of it! I had some morning sickness, but wasn't throwing up. I also was not a cry baby, until recently.

 

Each week we've taken a "bumpie" so we can watch this little baby grow. With special circumstances I've been able to feel the baby kick. (it doesn't like when the cats sit on its head) and in just a few short days we will know if we have a baby boy or girl joining our family.

We thank the Lord everyday for this little Miracle growing inside of me. Its crazy how much love you can have for someone you've never met before. December will be the best month of the year for us and honestly...we can't wait!

Photo Credit: http://racheliviephotography.com/

Photo Credit: http://racheliviephotography.com/

Goodbye March, HELLO April!

Oregon

I don't even know where to start with Oregon. Friday March 25th we embarked on a long weekend journey we left about 10:30 for a 14 hour car ride to Newport Oregon (THE COAST). I was looking forward to two things.
1. Seeing my best friend Marie, it had almost been a year since I had seen her in person and I was so excited to spend time with her again! I knew the short time that we were there wasn't going to be enough, and sure enough when it came time for us to leave I didn't want to. It was nice to have everything back to normal. Eric could go out with Chris and I wasn't by myself. Or Marie and I could be playing games and Eric didn't have to feel left out because he was hanging with Chris. It was just so great to be with her. Everything was back to normal to so come home and be by myself again was hard. I still miss her like crazy! Hopefully one day we will be able to live close to each other again.
2.Baby Conner Eric Read, Conner was getting blessed on the 27th, which was our reason of going out. And was he worth it. Such a sweet spirit. I think he played with my future children before he came to Earth. Holding that little baby in my arms was one of the greatest blessings I could imagine. I know its funny to say, but that one month old and I made quite the connection. He even gave me his first awake smile. Holding him and having Eric wrap his arms around me just reminded me of why I continue to endure through my trials, because the reward, in the end, will be WORTH THE WAIT! such a cute little baby and i love being his aunt!
We turned around and left that sunday and drove back, we got back around 4 in the morning on monday and boy oh boy that made for a long day on monday, but totally worth it for that day i got feeling like everything was back to normal.

My Trip in a Nutshell

Me, Shae, Steven, and Eric Getting on the ROAD

BFF's United at LAST

Newest addition! Conner Eric Read

Tender Moments...one day

Oh sweet baby!

The coast! And keeping baby warm!

Me, Grace, Marie and Mariah! 

Goals....

Wow goals are hard to keep, I am doing my best but gave up. Time to throw my towel back in and try again. I need time to just deep clean my house so I can start again. I really don't want to, being lazy is so much easier but I need to just get my butt into gear and do it. I was going to write a blog post once a month, but then my goals fell through.. so I didn't want to, but i'm going to try again. I'll report again in a month.

Family

I have been lucky enough to meet up with my family twice. We meet in Preston, Idaho and hang out for a day. We always make sure to have Chinese while we are there. It has been so great to see my nephews and niece they are all getting SO big! I wish they would stop growing when i'm not around. We haven't been down to Salt Lake since new years so its great that we've seen them. Last trip we stopped and saw my grandma's grave. It was nice to sit there and talk to her. I miss her so much.

New News

Eric got an exciting new job for the summer, we are looking forward to the adventures of the summer. He is going to be working for the Salt Lake Express driving a charter. This means he will be gone...A LOT! He will come home, pack and new bag and leave me his laundry. However; the job has perks, for most of the charters he will pick the vacationers up in Salt Lake and drive to Idaho Falls, because the only vehicle he has will be the bus, they will put him up in a hotel, and I can meet him there. I will have an over night bag backed so that if its on a weekday i can still get ready for work, but we are hoping they have a pool so we can get some exercise in. He will leave Idaho Falls, and travel to West Yellowstone. I can meet him up there stay in the hotel with him, then depending on my weekend and what I need to get done I will either follow them around Yellowstone (we are getting a park pass) or I will go back home. I plan on listening to the Harry Potter Series as I travel. I also plan on making trips home and seeing my family.


Well I think that is it for us. I can't wait to see what this next month / season brings us! We are hoping that the snow is over and that we get lots and lots of sunshine!

XOXO
Natalie

It always seems impossible till its done

Wow! I can't believe its January of 2016! And on top of it its already the 18th! wow its flying by! As you all know 2015 was not really our year! in fact i think its safe to say its one of the worst years of my life! But i was going to make 2016 different and by doing that i set goals for the year that will better me as a person. 

As you could probably guess i spent 2015 mourning the loss of my baby, as well as trying to get pregnant. I spent to much time and energy on that i let other things slack, well i've now picked up the slack. Here are my 5 goals to 2016

1. Budget, budget and oh yeah budget! I'm pretty good at setting a budget but not good at following it. To help me i've made a budget binder that goes everywhere with me! Its really helped! Part of my budgeting means eating out less. In fact A LOT less! The last 2 weeks Eric and i have only eaten out once. We stopped and spent $4 at mcdonalds before we went and worked at the temple! Its been a great feeling to know that we are eating better and helping our budget.

2. Personal and Combined scripture study. I wanted to get better at both. Sometimes Eric and I's schedules make it so we don't see each other in the day. But we've set apart time to read. We are studying the second half of The Book of Mormon to go along with his religion class at school. Its been a nice change. With the theme for primary being "I know the scriptures are true" i plan on reading The whole Book of Mormon. Also i'm planning my primary lessons ahead of time and not the day i teach ;) 

3. Exercise more. Now this isn't with the intent to loose weight. But i figured if we are eating better i can be healthier. I don't try to get the closets parking spot. I walk further to the store. I don't just sit and watch netflix when i get home i am up and moving. *or doing school work*

4. Have a cleaner house. This one i'm doing little by little because to approach this all at once was too overwhelming. It started with the Kitchen. I wasn't going to have dishes in the sink when i went to bed. For the last 2 weeks i haven't. I've learned that if you do the dishes as you go and you don't let them add up in the sink it doesn't take that long. This week i've included the front room. I spent saturday dejunking it and each night before bed i just pick up what doesn't belong and make sure the floor is clean and that things are put away. Its make for a much happier natalie!

5. Watch netflix less and read more. I've been reading my scriptures, i just got the Howard W. Hunter book. and i have a book from the library. Oh and lets not forget my text books! Its been nice to not be hooked to my phone. Sometimes i don't even know where it is and i don't care.

Over all my goals have been going well. I have found that by focusing on taking care of me and making sure that i'm doing good and am happy that life is a little easier. We still want to start our family and be parents but for now we are okay focusing on ourselves, each other, and our house. 

Our date night for January was bowling up in Rexburg followed by frozen custard. We've been watching the big bang theory and just enjoying our time together.

We are both working. Eric works at O'Reileys (where i swear most of our paycheck goes because someone LOVES working on cars) And i work as a "Coordinator of Awesomeness"  for an audiologist. I have never been happier at a job. As i was filling out paper work today and saw "office manager" next to my name it made me so happy to realize i'm continuing to improve myself. 

So to sum up really the point of this blog is this quote.

Bring on 2016 i'm ready! 

XOXO

Natalie